Supporting children through Grief
- Jasper's Mum
- Mar 2
- 2 min read
Gentle Ways to Help Little Hearts Heal
Grief is hard enough for adults. For children, it can be even more confusing. They may not have the words to express what they feel, or the understanding to make sense of what’s changed. But they feel it deeply. And they need gentle support to move through it.
Whether a child is grieving a pet, a grandparent, a sibling, or someone else they loved, there are quiet ways we can help them feel safe, seen, and supported.
Let Them Feel What They Feel
Children often move in and out of grief quickly. One moment they’re crying, the next they’re playing. This doesn’t mean they’re not affected—it means they’re processing in their own way.
Let them know it’s okay to feel sad, confused, angry, or quiet. There’s no “right” way to grieve. Just their way.
Use Simple, Honest Language
Avoid euphemisms like “gone to sleep” or “passed away” if they create confusion. Instead, use gentle but clear words:“They died. That means their body stopped working, and they won’t be coming back. But we can still remember them and love them.”
Children need truth wrapped in tenderness.
Create Rituals of Remembrance
Small rituals can help children feel connected and comforted:
Lighting a candle together
Drawing pictures or writing letters
Planting a flower or tree in memory
Creating a memory box with photos or keepsakes
Choosing a piece of jewellery or charm to wear or hold
Keepsakes can be especially powerful. A pendant with fur, a charm with a name, or a colour that reminds them of their pet or loved one can offer quiet reassurance.
A Personal Reflection
I’ve seen how keepsakes can help children feel close to someone they’ve lost. I’ve worked with families who’ve chosen matching pieces—one for the child, one for the parent. Others have created a pendant for a pet who’s still alive, so the child can carry that bond with them every day.
Even my own pendant, which holds Spud’s hair, reminds me that love isn’t just about remembering—it’s about celebrating presence while we still have it, as they are never here long enough are they ......
Be Patient with Their Questions
Children may ask the same things over and over. They may want to know where their pet is now, or why someone had to die. Answer gently, and consistently. Let them know it’s okay to wonder, and okay to ask.
Grief is a journey. And children walk it slowly.
You’re Not Alone
If you’re supporting a grieving child, know that you’re doing something deeply important. You’re helping shape how they understand love, loss, and healing.
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